22

My 18 year old coworker asked me what it's like to be 22, and I think Taylor Swift kind of nailed it in her song "22".

"Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely....in the best way; it's miserable and magical."

You go through your school years having clear guidelines, and it's easy to plan your future. Then slowly your twenties creep in and WAIT- nothing is certain anymore. Did you pick the right major in college? Did you get married too soon/ to the right person? Is your job good enough for what you want in life? Are you wanting the right things out of life?

In the last year or so, I realized that I felt lost. I felt/feel almost like a big fish in a little pond, but moreso in that I feel like I have bigger dreams and goals than this small town can give me. My work/life balance was nonexistent. I felt like big life changing decisions were being made for me, rather than by me.

It's this period of uncertainty that just sucks and makes you doubt yourself. I am fascinated by it, and have an intense love/hate relationship with this season of my life.

You go from having tons of friends to feeling like you have none.

In reality you do...just a handful of quality friends.

You go from feeling confident about your work/art, to wondering if any of it is good enough.

If you're putting your whole heart into whatever you're creating, it's still good enough.

You might even feel somewhat cheated, like you should be in a totally different place in your life. While it's not good to compare yourself to others, it is good to always aspire to more, and change what you can to go after more.

I'm halfway through my sentence of the "Lost 20s" phase, as people normally feel like they've gotten it together by 25 (which is also when your brain is finished developing).

It's wild to think that, theoretically, 2.5 years from now I won't feel lost. It's fascinating as well though, to be aware of this season of life, and to be in the middle of writing an EP focusing on that concept, and to imagine what the EP/LP after that will be like.

For myself, I hope to be traveling way more in the nearer future, going on tour in the next year, and taking in all the new experiences that I possibly can. With any luck, I'll be a little less lost, and a lot happier.

It sucks to be 22, but in the best way.