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I can't tell you where to go...or where to hide.

For much of 2013 and 2014 I was very much a regular at my local airport.

Most of my loved ones don't live near me, so I was essentially on a plane every 2 months to visit family or friends for a week or two at a time.

I worked very hard, some jobs understood- some didn't (hence the plural "jobs").

Honestly, it was just what I needed to stay happy, too. It was a motivator to work hard, and work toward something. The more nomadic I came to be, the happier I was. I enjoyed living halfway out of a suitcase at all times- even if it was purely out of laziness to unpack, because I'd just be re-packing most of it anyway!

At the beginning of this year I was offered my dream job: I could work remotely. From anywhere in the world (provided I had wifi!). Wouldn't you know it, a trip to Scotland that had been arranged for months was miscommunicated...among other more personal disasters. So my chance at this ultimate nomadic life evaporated.

So I did what you do when you've moved across the country on the chance of something happening and it epically falling apart: I moved back home. I got a job 5 minutes from my house and have spent the past 4 months working hard to get back to where I was.

Tonight I was rearranging and reorganizing my makeup set up, and realized that I had finally taken the last remaining items out of my makeup travel bag. It was like a nail in the coffin- temporary perhaps, but still "stuck" here longer than I'd hoped to be.

When I started writing this EP last year, I realized my strengths in working on a theme or a concept- the last one was easy, exploring different aspects of control. It took a while to figure out my theme for this one, and even longer to watch it evolve. I thought I was bitter and just wanting/lacking what others had, when now, it seems to be that I am exploring that season of life where you're lost...and what it means to feel lost at home, but fulfilled in a foreign location.

While it saddens me to feel stuck at home, and it's frustrating to feel uncertain about everything that was so certain before, it helps to know that it'll all pass. Someday I will be running through airports again to make that connection, and someday I won't feel so lost- and until then I have music to help guide me through it.

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